Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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