they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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