just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
