Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
