Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
