I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
