so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
