: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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