so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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