Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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