I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
