i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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