Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i jhust puked up my retainher.

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(248): View more from Michigan

no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night

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(503): View more from Oregon

My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.

(508): View more from Massachusetts

suggestion: become a stripper.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.

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(248): View more from Michigan

I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK

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(360): View more from Washington

Hold on gotta plunge the sink

(425): View more from Washington

Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time

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