You smell like stripper and shame
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Randomize
