Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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