he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
