We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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