All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
