Your tits are I can't wait for
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
