Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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