She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
