i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
i just had sex bonerless
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
