She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
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