Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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