i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Success! We fucked roommates!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
