I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
false alarm. still invincible.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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