dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
