You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
