Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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