he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
