Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
