My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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