is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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