I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
