Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
