brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
