i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
