I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
