I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
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