your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
