just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
