This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
