Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
