In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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