it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
