yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
