It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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