just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
