We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
