I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
