we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
no. you can't hotbox the world.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
